That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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