i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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