haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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