You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
