i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
