She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
