hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
