I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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