wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
not ubering you a puppy
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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