How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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