That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
