And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
