How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
