well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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