what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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