OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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