can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
