Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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