Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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