im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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