Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
