guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
are you so shy because you have an std?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
they're like a gay fantastic four
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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