Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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