I CAN MOONWALK!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dicks are not precious.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
