is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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