hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
