I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
