i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
