May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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