We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
