Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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