The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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