I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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