i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
