Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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