I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
