Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
