good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
