I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
