just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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