I think scott just propositioned me for sex
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just pee around me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
