It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
