i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
