so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
