ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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