I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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