my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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