I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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