hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
