He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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