he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
