i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think i have herpe
just one?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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