Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
