Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
