All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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