Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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