Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
