Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
