he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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