Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
