is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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