Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
