i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
