Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Randomize
